ROME.- Against the grain of what is happening in the world and in the face of growing trend of “polyamory” in the West – already the custom of polygamy in various African countries -, the Vatican released this Tuesday a document that reaffirms the value of monogamythat is, the unique and indissoluble marriage between a single man and a single woman.
Titled “Una caro (in Latin, “one flesh”), in praise of monogamy”, it is a long “doctrinal note on the value of marriage, exclusive union and mutual belonging”, of the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith, signed by its owner, the Argentine cardinal Víctor Manuel “Tucho” Fernández, which was approved by Pope Leo XIV on November 21.
“The document takes seriously the current global context of development of technological powerin which the Human beings are tempted to consider themselves unlimited creaturescapable of achieving everything they imagine. In this way, the value of an exclusive love, reserved for a single person, is easily obscured, which in itself implies the free renunciation of many other possibilities,” Cardinal Fernández warns at the beginning of the 156-paragraph note.
“In truth, the intention of this note is fundamentally propositional: to extract from the Holy Scriptures, from the history of Christian thought, from philosophy and even from poetry, reasons and motivations that drive us to choose a unique and exclusive union of love, a rich and comprehensive reciprocal belonging,” he adds.
In its introduction, the document recalls that Saint John Paul II, speaking of monogamy, had already said that it deserved “to be explored in greater depth.” Although he admits that, in truth, the origin of the text has to do with “the various dialogues with the bishops of Africa and other continents on the question of polygamy”in the context of his visits to Rome, and, on the other hand, “the observation that various public forms of non-monogamous unions—sometimes called ‘polyamory’—are growing in the West, in addition to the more private or secret ones that have been common throughout history.”
“Los African bishops on their visits to Rome have raised their difficulties with polygamy and that they fail to motivate young people to an exclusive union… Some saw, for example, that that boy who had been confirmed years later already had four women“Cardinal Fernández explained at a press conference at the Vatican. “Although there are other forms of polygamy, also in Italy”he said, with irony, remembering that when he was a student in Rome 40 years ago, “The Romans not only had a wife, but also another woman and a man”he said, laughing and alluding to lovers and other irregular situations. “There are other forms of polygamy, not as public and explicit, but just as offensive to the dignity of women,” he added, stressing that he was happy to present “Una caro” just on the International Day against violence against women.
The document, which highlights the goodness of monogamy, reviews its roots in the Bible, in the most important texts of the fathers of the Church and its teachings, cites the Second Vatican Council and various pontiffs, among whom, Saint John Paul II, Benedict XVI and Francis. In addition, it mentions theologians, philosophers and poets of various nationalities, among whom, Pablo Neruda and his famous “Twenty Love Poems and a Song.”
Cardinal Fernández, who read some verses by the Italian poet Eugenio Montale, explained that the aforementioned authors “are not cited because their lives were perfect, nor because they were saints.” “We cite them because When they found true love, their poetry managed to express the value of an exclusive union”.
The document evokes the philosophical thought of Karol Wojtyla in “Love and Responsibility”, which “allows us to understand why Only monogamy guarantees that sexuality develops within the framework of the recognition of the other as a subject with whom life is shared completely, a subject who is an end in himself and never a means to his own needs.” “The sexual union, which involves the person as a whole, can treat the other as a person, that is, as a co-subject of love and not as an object of use, only if it is developed within the framework of a unique and exclusive belonging. In this case, those who give themselves fully and completely to the other can only be two”.
In a world in which this sounds like something completely against the grain, the document reminds, on the other hand, the importance of education. “In fact, our time experiences various trends around love: rising divorce rates, fragile unions, trivializing adultery and promoting polyamory”, he acknowledges.
“Given all this, it should be recognized that the great collective narratives (novels, films, songs) continue to exalt the myth of the unique and exclusive ‘great love’. The paradox is evident: social practices undermine what the imagination celebrates. This reveals that the desire for monogamous love remains deeply rooted in human beings, even when behaviors seem to deny it,” he adds.
“How, then, can we preserve the possibility of faithful and monogamous love?” he asks. “The answer lies in education. It is not enough to denounce failures; Starting from the values that are still preserved in the popular imagination, we must prepare generations to embrace the experience of love as an anthropological mystery. The universe of social networks, where modesty fades and symbolic and sexual violence proliferates, demonstrates the urgent need for a new pedagogy,” he says.
And it goes further: “Love cannot be reduced to an impulse: always summons the responsibility and capacity for hope of the whole person. Courtship, understood in its traditional sense, embodies this time of testing and maturation, in which the other is received as a promise of infinity. So, Education in monogamy is not a moral restriction, but an initiation into the greatness of a love that transcends immediacy.. Direct erotic energy towards lasting wisdom and openness to the divine. Monogamy is not archaism, but prophecy: it reveals that human love, lived in its fullness, in some way anticipates the very mystery of God.”
