We’ve all still got whiplash from Brook’s sudden villain arc. Just hours after scolding her fatphobic husband for his misogynist views and dubbing herself a “girl’s girl” while standing up for fellow bride Mel following a bout of social media trolling, Brook’s hero’s journey suddenly careered off the rails at the pub when she mocked and trash-talked other wives for being too happy with their husbands.
The targets in Brook’s crosshairs? Alissa and Stella.
On one hand, we totally get it – people in happy and healthy relationships are the worst. Whaddaya mean he doesn’t leave every cabinet door open for no damn reason?!
On the other hand, grow up and show a bit of maturity by simply b****ing about people behind their backs to your Uber driver on the way home instead of picking a fight with them in a pub. It’s called being an adult.
Anyway, things explode again at the commitment ceremony when Alissa jumps on the couch with her husband, David, and they gush to the experts about how perfect they are for each other.
Brook and her fellow mean girl Gia start taunting from the sidelines – eye rolling and muttering snide comments to each other.
“She sounds like an infomercial. Selling hair products desperately at 3am on your TV,” Gia spits, mocking Alissa’s tendency to talk with the chipper enthusiasm of every Reese Witherspoon character.
By the time Stella and her husband, Filip, get on the couch to broadcast the joys of their perfect marriage, Brook and Gia are fed up.
Stella can hear the murmuring from the ladies. And there’s only one thing for her to do: dob.
“I feel like not everyone likes your happiness,” she cryptically tells the experts before detailing the jealousy that’s simmering in the group and the bad behaviour from Brook and Gia at the pub.
While some people might see this as a cue to stop trash-talking, Gia and Brook only go harder.
“No one cares, and we’re not jealous!” Gia grumbles, within earshot of the experts.
“I’m friggin’ fuming. She’s playing the victim,” Brook seethes.
Oh, Brook. She’s missing a vowel and even more sense.
Alissa joins in the snitching.
“They called me fake yesterday!” she informs the experts.
Gia snaps – yelling more insults across the room, which only strengthens the prosecution’s argument.
“Alissa, shut up! All you do is speak with infomercial voice! Pipe down!” Gia yells.
As punishment for this immature behaviour, Gia will now have a set of Bose headphones strapped to her ears as non-stop audio plays of Alissa reading the back labels of various shampoo bottles.
Now seems like the perfect time for the three experts to step in and call out the behaviour. Instead, they ignore it and say they’ll address it at a later date. Translation: they’ll let it fester over the coming week to ensure an almighty fight explodes at the next drunken dinner party, so producers have content to work with.
Immediately after the ceremony, Stella tries quietly approaching Brook to clear the air, but the model bats her away – almost knocking over the token elderly contestant and sending her back to the nursing home.
“I’m f*****’ fuming, b****. Fool! She’s a fool! She’s just making s*** outta her ass,” Brook insults Stella again in front of the experts, who pretend not to hear.
These are the words of a true “girl’s girl”. She should give motivational speeches at corporate brunches for International Women’s Day.
Married at First Sight screens Sundays to Wednesdays on Three and Three Now
