Álvaro seemed like any other healthy baby. He reached developmental milestones early, even starting to talk sooner than expected. His parents were told he was extraordinary. “He was a very smart child. He loved music. My father saeid that a Beethoven was born,as he had a special ear,as soon

Álvaro recalls a moment of crisis where his son’s behaviour led to judgmental looks from passersby. “Who had a crisis and started hitting me on the street, most people passed, looked and thought: ‘Look at this father who rude’, instead, a lady of 80 and peak years He will help, but while the rest passed and you felt that I was judging you, that lady understands you. It makes you feel accepted. AND Those things seem not, But they help a lot not to feel alonebecause when you have such a situation, it is easy to fall into that spiral,” says Álvaro.

The Power of Love and Acceptance

When you do for love, the “cross” is much lighter.

Álvaro emphasizes that love is the most important lesson he has learned from his son. He believes that approaching challenges with love makes them easier to bear. “When you do for love, the ‘cross’ is much lighter. When you get up and you have to change the diaper, despite being 18 years old, when you hit you a blow and you have to smile, when your life is pure service …When you are doing it as you love him, you don’t feel a slave or a miserable one, the other way around.”

He admits that accepting his son’s reality has been a long process, but learning to live with it and staying strong is essential. He finds outlets to cope with the challenges. “You have to find gaps to free you,to cry,to get angry and to get what is inside. Everyone has to find their formula.I have found her writng, with certain people with whom I have confidence and from time to time I remain to vent… ». And those minutes enjoys them to the fullest, following the example of his son. «Álvaro has been operated many times, once it went from the brain, very elaborate. He was recovering, with head drains, with morphine chute of the pain he had, and a nurse entered with a chicken plate with potatoes, of hospital, not what our mothers do, smelled it, got up as if it were Dracula from the bed, and changed his face. He enjoyed the chicken,and he lay down again because he was crushed. It is supervised, but enjoy every moment. and he teaches us every day ». that’s why he when he has the possibility to throw a paddle game with friends, or have a beer with them, take advantage of it as if there were no tomorrow. «Above all, because I realize that when I enjoy, I get home and I am a better father, because I have rested and loaded batteries. Enjoying is an obligation, “explains Álvaro, who confesses that of all the letters he has written to his son the first one has been the most difficult.

Álvaro shared his feelings in a letter,revealing the “broken dreams” that come with raising a child with disabilities. He initially hesitated to share it publicly due to embarrassment, but his wife’s support helped him change his perspective. And in that letter upon tapestry what a child with disabilities is to havewhich means, “broken dreams.” Actually, he says that when they published it in networks, he didn’t even share it, as he was embarrassed. His wife has had a lot to do with that change of perspective. At first, when they received the diagnosis, he had a fatal, and she knew how to wait for her to pass her duel, to be repressed together.

Together they made the decision that one of the two had to give up his work to be able to be more to day with Álvaro’s care. It was Rocío, because she wanted it. «I had better as I, a spectacular file, speaks I don’t know how many languages, had a very big future, but I felt that she had to do it. As of all medical issues I take care of me. In both we are both, because I, as soon as I get home, take it, and take it out there, and on weekends too, for her to rest. But everyone has to carry the leadership in an area, “he says.

Álvaro is candid about the impact his son’s condition has had on his relationship with his wife.«Somthing like that, regrettably conditions, in most cases. Our relationship is far from what could be a novel or a love movie. We have to sleep separately, we can barely do some plan together. It is a complicated relationship, if you see it from the normal standard. But if you have some solid foundations,as I think we had them,you understand the situation and make sacrifices. You do it for the other person, as you love her. You do not carry a counter,but maybe a week I am wrong,and it has to be she who throws or vice versa.

Rocío and Álvaro are determined not to burden their other three daughters with obligations related to Álvaro’s care in the future. However, their daughters offer help out of love. They believe that having grown next to Álvaro has positively influenced thembecause they have a sensitivity and a way of acting with others that would have not had otherwise. «when we took Álvaro to the therapies we saw some example of some older brother that his life had been complicated excessively. And you cannot judge, as each situation is a world and depends a lot on personal circumstances. In our case we can do so. We want any of my daughters to get married with an American and go to the United States tomorrow, leave … we can’t condition their life. But if tomorrow they want to take over, I will be a very happy father, But they are not forced». They are not, and all they do is because they feel it. A few days ago Álvaro went from camp a weekend with the Ava Foundation for intellectual disability, chaired by his father, and that he launched as a result of his illness, and the sisters were asking for him all weekend. and it is as the Villanueva say: “The brother helped by his brother is like a walled city.”