What to Consider When Trying Deep Penetration Sex Positions
Before jumping into bed, read these additional expert recs:
Be careful with cervical contact.
When trying any of these position, the head of the penis (or dildo) might strike the cervix, which “can be exquisitely painful” for some people, says Queen. Others, however, enjoy deep penetration because it hits the anterior fornix, a highly sensitive, erogenous area located just in front of the cervix, also known as the A-spot. This “is especially erotic for them,” says Queen.
Don’t skimp on outercourse.
“Penetration tends not to be pleasurable and can actually be really painful without sufficient arousal,” says Queen. “Arousal is crucial, particularly if you’re doing something like a position where you’re trying to access more pleasure from vaginal stimulation.” For people with vulvas, arousal creates natural lubrication, which is pretty much necessary for pleasurable sex, especially deep penetration.
“Most women complain that men are usually ahead of them in the arousal process,” says Kerner, noting that female arousal “builds up” and “simmers” as a sexual experience unfolds. To sync up, he recommends thinking of sex as a three-act play: Act one may be all about undressing and above-the-waist action, act two might focus on outercourse—oral sex, fingering, or clitoral stimulation with a toy, for example—and then finally, act three begins with the transition into intercourse.
While the length of each act can vary, you shouldn’t “construct a sexual event around intercourse,” says Kerner. “You need to make sure that you’re having a blend of both outercourse and intercourse.”
Penetration (alone) may not = unparalleled pleasure for your partner.
Obviously, deep penetration feels amazing for people with the penises–that’s why you’re here, after all. But the vast majority of people with vulvas—at least 80 percent–cannot orgasm from vaginal penetration alone, per a 2018 study. Here’s why: “Most of the sensitive nerve endings that contribute to the female orgasm are located on the surface of the vulva or not so far into the vagina,” says Kerner. “So, by penetrating deeply, you’re creating a nice sensation of fullness, but you’re not necessarily stimulating nerve endings that are directly generating arousal.”
Besides combining clitoral stimulation with deep penetration, choose a sex position “where the penis can be slowly felt along the vaginal walls,” Kerner says, since the internal legs of the clitoris wrap around the vagina. So, you can stimulate the clit with internal pressure in addition to external touch.
