Awkward, anxiousvulnerable.
Three more words to describe adolescence. That’s adding to insecure, the single word I chose to summarize teen turbulence in Part 1 of this three-part series that explores the growing-up experience of two rock musicians who steered through those stormy years to successful careers: John Bell and Lee Mars.
Bell is the frontman and founding member of rock group Widespread Panic. Mars is a founding member of Rock and Roll Hall of Fame band Nine Inch Nailsand mix engineer of music for the movie School of Rock, and several popular music performers.
What’s the Point?
Great question.
The insecurity and awkwardness Mars and Bell experienced growing up mirrors what most young people encounter during their maturation process. It’s how you respond to those uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that make the difference for future destiny. Mars and Bell both responded to that inner experience in a manner that led to ultimate success.
Hopefully, the exploration of the youth days of Bell and Mars will inform and empower young people to maneuver their way through the teen swampland of social insecurity discussed in Part 1 of this series, and onward, to a meaningful life.
It’s also intended for parents, and other youth-involved adults, to raise their awareness of what teens experience so that they can respond to kids in a compassionate, supportive manner to help them steer their way through those swampy adolescent waters.
I have known Mars and Bell since their pre-teen days. They were different from most kids that surrounded them as described in Part 1 of this series. They didn’t get caught up in the attention– and popularity-seeking antics many kids do that can distract from more important life endeavors.
Please keep in mind that I did not deliver psychological services to either one. I was John Bell’s camp counselor in 1971 and 1972. Lee Mars attended a junior high school I worked at in the late 1970s and into the early 1980s.
We will, first, delve into the reflections of John Bell on his adolescent days. Lee Mars’ observations will be detailed in Part 3.
John Bell
Bell’s band, Widespread Panichas been together for over 35 years and continues to draw sell-out crowds at indoor and outdoor venues such as the Superdome in New Orleans and Red Rocks in Colorado. Widespread recently sold out Fenway Park for three consecutive nights.
It’s a band somewhat like The Grateful Dead and Phish in the sense that they have a distinct sound that’s tough to sort into a specific musical genre, though Widespread Panic has a strong Southern rock influence. You won’t hear them, much, on popular radio or Satellite stations because they are more of a live concert band, much like The Dead and Phish.
Bell is the band’s lead singer, guitarist, and mandolin player. The group is based in the vicinity of Athens, Georgia, where the band formed when he was a college student at the University of Georgia. Bell is iconic in the American South, where Widespread Panic’s popularity is most fervent. Mention his name in the south and people go crazy.
What was he like as a kid? Here we go.
“I remember feeling awkward as a kid,” reflected Bell on his teen school days. “There were all these little cliques, little groups of friends. I never thought of myself as being identified with any of them, but I was always included with some of their activities and stuff.”
Awkwardness is not atypical of what teens experience with their peers, but unlike most young people, the ones who went on to success did not compromise themselves by doing things for the sole purpose of attention or peer approval. No caving in to any thoughts or desires to be one of the “cool kids.” They were included in activities and well liked but weren’t obsessively trying to get peer approval.
Why didn’t he go the route of compulsive popularity-seeking? A passion for music and the guitar.
“The guitar thing was always a nice escape and something I had fun with,” Bell shared. “I liked going to the mall and getting sheet music so I could learn to play some of the songs I heard on the radio. I remember when I was 12 and 13, playing the guitar over the phone with my friends, playing Jim Croce, ‘Time in the Bottle.’ I played In the jazz band my freshman year at US (University School, a private school located in suburban Cleveland).”
“There was a whole other thing where I didn’t feel like I was fitting in,” Bell confided. “It was much about the musicality of the other guys. I felt really intimidated, but I didn’t really need the camaraderie and learning to play ‘Stairway to Heaven,’ just to fit in like everybody else did. Doing that felt a little creepy to me.”
Adolescence Essential Reads
“I was happy to just play music the way I was enjoying it,” he explained. “I really dug it (Stairway to Heaven), but not for trying to be popular. My relationship with music was what it was, and that wasn’t leaving me.”
John was being true to himself and didn’t compromise his music, or anything else, to gain peer approval.
“There was a very competitive thing too,” added Bell to his list of school creepiness. “Kids trying to one-up each other. it wasn’t just like, hey, learning together and getting proficient. There was this air of trying to prove that you were better than somebody else.”
Wrap
Bell demonstrated remarkable clarity and decision-making as a youth, unusual for most teenagers.
It was that awareness and wisdom that enabled his ability to prevent his awkwardness and insecurity from deterring from his passion for music and life direction. Many young people strive for peer approval, attention, and popularity for the purpose of chasing away their thoughts and feelings of insecurity with little awareness of the long-term ramifications of such behavior.
None of that widespread panicked behavior by John Bell.
“You know, I think I was, and still am, a kind of an observer,” he reflected. “I try to be observant, and figure things out and have a little fun along the way.”
Observation is a real bellringer (pun intended) for success. It’s the ability to pause, notice, and make sound behavioral choices, unencumbered by the unpleasant, unworkable thoughts and emotions often experienced not only by teenagers, but by every human being, regardless of age.
The observations and wisdom of music rocker Lee Mars awaits in the on-deck circle. Stay tuned.