When my emotions become unfamiliar – Signs from a mother’s body and mind
“Yesterday I was smiling and playing with my child, but today I feel like crying for no reason.” These emotional fluctuations are not just a matter of mood. According to the American Psychiatric Association (APA, 2021), PMS (premenstrual syndrome) and PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) cause changes in neurotransmitters (serotonin, dopamine). Emotion control, concentration, empathydirectly deteriorates. Because of this, mothers experience a “me that is not like me” and waver between guilt and anger.
Harvard Medical School’s ‘Women’s Moods Study’ (Hantsoo & Epperson, 2015) clearly presented the physiological mechanism by which female hormonal changes affect emotion regulation. In other words, “a mother’s emotions are not a matter of will, but a neurophysiological phenomenon.” The moment she knew this, her mother taught herself a little more. a compassionate gazeYou can have
When your hormones are the problem, not your child’s behavior
Mothers suffering from PMS or mild depression may notice their child’s facial expressions and tone of voice. tendency to interpret negativelyThere is. According to a study by the University of Cambridge, UK (2018), parents who were depressed or anxious perceived their child’s emotional signals on average 27% more negatively. This is not “the child’s problem behavior,” but “distortion of the emotional interpretation filter.” In times like this, what is needed is to stop the ‘immediate reaction’.
Harvard University’s Mindfulness research team (Kabat-Zinn, 2018) reported that cognitive distancing reduces emotional outbursts and improves the quality of parent-child interactions. In other words, before interpreting a child’s behavior, it is necessary to get into the habit of checking “whether my emotions are signals from my body.”
This is Emotional seatbelt of parentingall.
Principles of restorative parenting that protect relationships even in times of depression and guilt
Depression leads to self-criticism such as “I am not a good mother.” However, the Harvard Human Development Study (Grant Study, Vaillant, 2012) stated that “a child’s emotional stability is determined by resilience, not the mother’s perfection.” Children, even when their parents are angry, Afterwards, when you repeatedly witness the ‘process of recovery’ Learn emotional control.
Harvard Center on the Developing Child (2020) calls this “Serve and Return.” In other words, even if parents are emotionally shaken, if they regain stability and respond warmly to their child, the stress regulation circuit in the child’s brain (especially the amygdala-prefrontal pathway) is strengthened. “A mother’s recovery is the child’s recovery.”
A recovery routine that starts with small changes — building mothers’ psychological resilience
For mothers with PMS or depression, ‘big resolutions’ are rather a burden. recovery is small routineIt starts from The World Health Organization (WHO, 2020) Guidelines for managing mild depression and chronic stresssuggested “self-awareness, daily physical activity, and social connection” as three key axes. Let’s include the following routine in your daily life.
emotions diary: “My feelings today are ○○.” Write in one sentence.
Labeling: Naming emotions such as irritation → anxiety, fatigue → sadness.
5 minute routine: A cup of coffee, looking at the sunlight by the window, breathing for 3 minutes.
support network: ‘Share your feelings’ with a friend, spouse, or psychologist.
These routines are neurophysiologically Parasympathetic nervous system activationIt helps stabilize heart rate and recover emotions (Gross, 2015, Emotion Regulation Theory).
Not a perfect mother, but a recovering mother.
All mothers are shaken. The important thing is, after shaking The ability to find your center againam. Susan David (2016), a developmental psychologist at Harvard University, said, “Emotional sensitivity is not a weakness, but the beginning of flexibility.” When a mother acknowledges and recovers her feelings, the child does not suppress them and How to express yourself healthilylearn. It’s okay to fall into a swamp of emotions. You are already learning recovery.
