While many believe we find our sense of purpose, I believe it may be more accurate to say that we create a life of purpose based on the things that light us up. These sparks, what I call purpose anchors, become the foundation for meaningful activities, or what I like to call climbs. The more climbs we build around these anchors, and the more durable they are, the happier and more fulfilled we tend to be.
Indeed, countless studies show that having a sense of purpose in life is linked to better health, more happinessand even a longer lifespan.
That said, it’s unlikely we’ll be engaged in the same version of purpose, the same climbs, for our entire lives. Each climb has a season. While some may last a lifetime, others might last only a few months or years. A purpose that lit you up at 30 may no longer resonate at 60. This is not a failure. It’s a natural evolution.
By nature, what I refer to as “little p” purpose is process-oriented. It’s not about ticking off goals or building a résumé. It’s about doing things that consistently bring you joy and meaning in the doingnot just the outcome.
So, how do you know when it’s time to move on from one climb and pursue another? Is there a danger in abandoning meaningful pursuits too quickly? Only to regret it later?
Interestingly, research offers some guidance. A 2020 study published in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience by Meng et al. explored what happens when we lose meaning in an activity. Their findings revealed a sort of rebound effect: When people lose a sense of purpose in one task, they tend to invest more deeply in a new, unrelated one to regain that sense of meaning. In other words, it’s OK to shift focus. There’s no voltage drop. Our ability to generate purpose is resilientnot fragile.
The more difficult question is knowing when it’s appropriate to abandon one version of purpose for another. Over the years, many clients and friends have asked me: “How do I know when it’s time to let go?”
After working through many of these situations, I’ve identified three clear signs that it’s time to retire one climb and explore a new one.
1. You No Longer Enjoy the Process
Table of Contents
Little “p” purpose thrives on process. It’s not about the final product; it’s about the regular, meaningful engagement in something that lights you up. When that engagement begins to feel like a chore, when the thing that once energized you now feels heavy, it may be time to re-evaluate.
We’ve all experienced this. Maybe your love for basketball turned sour when daily practices in high school took the fun out of the game. Or perhaps your once-joyful crochet hobby became exhausting once you began selling hats online and tracking orders.
If the process no longer feels satisfying, your climb may have run its course.
2. Your Goals Have Goals
One of the fastest ways to kill a sense of purpose is to over-structure it. When your purposeful activity becomes loaded down with secondary goals, marketing plans, or metrics, the original joy can get lost.
I remember having this feeling when I started my podcast. Interviewing guests, crafting questions, and editing episodes—all of it lit me up. But then I began obsessing over download numbers. I started investing time in promotional strategies and collaborations that I didn’t enjoy. My evenings, once filled with excited preparation, became anxiety-ridden refreshes of my stats page.
When your climb becomes too goal-oriented—when it starts to feel more like a job than a joy—that’s a good sign it’s time to reassess.
3. You Lack Community
One of the magical things about engaging in purposeful activities is the natural connection it fosters. When we pursue something with genuine passion, we attract others: those who want to teach us, learn from us, or collaborate with us.
Happiness Essential Reads
If you’re not building any form of community around your purpose anchor, take note. While solitary climbs can be meaningful, they often lose momentum without human connection. Whether it’s a writing group, a cooking class, or a supportive online forum, community acts as both fuel and feedback loop. It helps sustain the spark.
When your purposeful activity starts to feel isolating or invisible, that may be a sign that your climb no longer fits or that it needs to be recalibrated to include others.
Making the Leap
So what happens next? Does this mean you must fully abandon one purpose anchor and find another? Not necessarily. Sometimes it means building a new climb around an existing anchor. Maybe your love affair with writing is still alive, but the blog you’ve maintained for years no longer excites you. Maybe it’s time to draft that novel you’ve been dreaming about, or shift to storytelling through essays or even screenwriting.
Purpose isn’t a fixed destination. It’s a living, breathing thing shaped by our seasons, circumstances, and growth.
If something that once felt meaningful now feels empty, don’t panic. Don’t shame yourself. Your sense of purpose is allowed to evolve. In fact, it’s meant to.
Whether you choose to abandon a climb entirely or simply reimagine it, trust that purpose is vast and renewable. When one version fades, another is likely waiting just around the corner.
You just have to be willing to let go.
And start the next climb.
