First, let’s tell the truth: most of us do not watch college basketball every Tuesday night in January. We pull up in March and act like we’ve been locked in all season. Then we parade around the office talking about “basketball IQ” as if we invented the concept.
That is part of the tradition.
March Madness has never just been about knowing ball. It’s about pretending you’ve been studying a mid-major program all year when in reality you just learned their name during the selection show. It’s about confidence and a little bit of luck. Just like that time you got your first number from the cute girl at the mall.
And if your team is as lucky as you were in the food court that day — seriously, you had a mustard stain on your shirt — you’ll both get to go to the big dance.
So, if you want to sound like you know what you’re doing, start with the obvious names on the men’s side. It’s not going to be a repeat of 2023. The number one seeds: Duke, Arizona, Michigan and UConn are the kinds of programs that tend to look like real contenders this time of year.
Duke always arrives with the weight of expectation. Arizona usually has the kind of talent that could go to the Final Four. Michigan and UConn … well we’re going to ignore how they lost to Purdue and St. John’s in their conference championships. Trust me, they’ll both make a run.
And Gonzaga? Ole’ Gonzaga is always lurking somewhere in people’s spirits, like the ghosts of tournament pasts, whether they deserve it or not.
But here’s the trick to making your bracket look respectable: don’t just pick favorites. Every year, some team with a bunch of unknown players and a nun that goes to every home game gets hot. And every year, somebody leaves the court embarrassed, mumbling audibly to themselves, “Damn, those white boys can shoot.”
Image: Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images
The tournament, at times, doesn’t make sense. It’s designed that way, just like Atlanta traffic. It’s mayhem disguised as competition in the most evil, delicious way. That’s why you have to leave room for a Cinderella.
Maybe it’s Saint Mary’s. Maybe it’s Miami of Ohio. Maybe it’s a team you had to Google ten minutes before filling out your bracket. The point is that somewhere in that field is a program about to ruin somebody’s championship dreams and make themselves a national story for at least the next 48 hours.
Your bracket needs at least one pick that says, “I have a favorite team, but I like my bracket a little messy.”
And if an HBCU finds its way into the men’s or women’s field, that’s another rule entirely: you ride with them all the way, no questions. Most of your choices are based on your favorite mascots anyway. Logic can take the day off for that one.
Speaking of the women’s side of the tournament, this might actually be the place where the best basketball lives right now.
Programs like UCLA and Texas have positioned themselves as real contenders this season, while UConn once again feels like it belongs somewhere deep in the tournament.
But at South Carolina, it’s never just about basketball.
Coach Dawn Staley has built one of those programs where excellence is expected, culture is baked in, and every season feels connected to something larger than the scoreboard. Sure, they fell just short to Coach Auriemma and the Lady Huskies last year, but the Gamecocks have become one of the defining forces in the sport. Not just because they win, but because of the way they carry the legacy of the program forward.
At South Carolina, it’s not just about building tradition. It’s about being the tradition.
And if you don’t really care about office bragging rights, just jot down a few of these names from the women’s tournament so it won’t look like you pulled up to the watch party, just for the snacks.
South Carolina’s Joyce Edwards is one to watch. Vanderbilt’s Mikayla Blakes has been electric. LSU’s Flau’jae Johnsonalmost a household name already, brings both personality and playmaking. UConn’s Azzi Fudd and Sarah Strong both can take over a game. And USC’s JuJu Watkins is already one of the game’s most captivating players.
So if you’re looking for a little strategy this year before the bracket and your buy-in is due, here it is.
- Pick a powerhouse.
- Trust your underdog.
- Always respect Coach Staley. And most of all…
- Have fun with it.
Because by Saturday, your bracket is probably still going to be busted anyway.
