New research investigates the all-too-common problem of age discrimination in families.
As the American population grows collectively older, a good deal of attention has been focused on age-related bias in employment, the media, health care, and popular culture.
But while the problem of ageism may be well documented in those areas, there appears to be much less awareness among scholars, journalists, and policy makers of its impact on the family.
So notes Stacey Gordon, senior fellow at the Center for Health and Aging Innovation (CHAI) at NYU’s Silver School of Social Work. Gordon’s career-long interest in bringing the problem to the fore of scholarship and public awareness led her to research and write the recent paper in the Journal of Gerontological Social Work coauthored by Ernest Gonzales, an NYU Silver professor and CHAI’s director.
The study describes ageism directed at older adults as a phenomenon akin to racism and sexism. Rather than just another form of familial tension or disagreement, the sources of ageist attitudes and behaviors run deep in American society, powered by norms and traditions about the roles that older family members play, negative stereotypes, and false beliefs. Siblings and friends communicate age bias, consciously or unconsciously. So do older adults and parents, who often internalize them. And the impact on families is insidious, even toxic, says Gordon.
“Common stereotypes by young and old alike can include a belief that older family members are dependent, physically and cognitively impaired, lonely, deaf, lacking vitality or interest, asexual, and helpless,” she and Gonzales write in their paper. But whether kept under wraps or blurted out jokingly (“No one over 75 should have an iPhone!” is one such micro-aggression, she explains), ageism dishonors an older person’s lifetime of skills, experiences, and knowledge. It chips away at their autonomy, power, and self-esteem.
In 2020, Gordon published another paper, in Clinical Social Work Journal, and this foundational article became what Gordon calls “the little paper that could,” receiving more than 5,500 downloads—and demonstrating that there is indeed a great deal of interest in the topic of family ageism, and in addressing it.
Importantly, the paper introduced the positive results that are possible when family members are able to step back and use a “critical consciousness” to understand the ways in which the larger social context and structural forces affect how older family members are valued and treated, and how family interactions and problems are affected.
“Knowing that a supportive family member is present, reliable, and consistent whether close by or afar,” she writes, “can have a positive impact on an older adult’s attitude and expectations about their own mental and physical health and can also provide older adults with a sense of hope and control of their future aging trajectory.”
Here, Gordon speaks about how a critical consciousness might be used to counter the perpetuation of negative stereotypes ingrained in many family units:
