A Shift in Social Graces: Is Politeness Becoming a Relic of the Past?

have you noticed a change in the air? A subtle,yet pervasive shift in how we interact? From the cacophony of casual conversations during cinema screenings to a general disregard for common courtesies in everyday life,it seems that etiquette,once a cornerstone of civilized society,is fading into obscurity. But what are the implications of this decline, adn can we reverse the trend?

The Essence of Etiquette: Respect and Consideration

According to Isabelle Coppens, founder of Gracious Manners and an etiquette instructor, the core of etiquette lies in dealing with other people in a respectful and attentive way. It’s not about stuffy formalities or exclusive social circles; it’s about the simple acts of kindness and consideration that make our shared spaces more pleasant.Acknowledging someone with a “good morning,” offering a sincere “thank you,” or extending a helping hand – these are the building blocks of a courteous society.

The Rise of “Ikkikheid”: A Culture of Self-Absorption

Why are these simple acts of politeness becoming less common? Coppens suggests that we are increasingly living in a society that is very strong on itself, prioritizing individual comfort and convenience over collective well-being. This sentiment is echoed by Professor and psychiatrist Dirk De Wachter, who describes this phenomenon as Ikkikheid – a self-centered mentality that prioritizes personal gain over human connection. In an interview, De Wachter emphasized that human connection is essential to be ‘good in yourself’.

This self-absorption manifests in various ways. Consider the decline in offering seats to elderly individuals on public transport, or the rampant incivility that often plagues online interactions.A 2024 study by the Pew Research Center found that 41% of Americans have personally experienced online harassment, highlighting the pervasive nature of digital discourtesy.

The Digital Disconnect: How Technology Impacts Social Interaction

Social media, often touted as a tool for connection, can ironically contribute to this sense of isolation and self-centeredness. Coppens notes that social media is anything but social and even often self -centered. The curated highlight reels of vacations and personal achievements often overshadow genuine interaction and empathy.Furthermore, the anonymity afforded by the internet can embolden individuals to engage in behaviors they would never consider in face-to-face interactions.

The impact of smartphones on real-world interactions is also undeniable. How frequently enough do we see groups of people, ostensibly together, each absorbed in their own digital world? This constant distraction can hinder our ability to be present and attentive to those around us.

Reclaiming Common Courtesy: small Acts, Big Impact

The consequences of this erosion of etiquette are far-reaching, leading to a society where no one feels responsible for the overall atmosphere. However, reclaiming common courtesy doesn’t require grand gestures; it’s about the small, everyday acts of kindness that demonstrate our consideration for others.Coppens suggests, If you see at the cash register that someone wants to buy only one thing, let that person go. These seemingly insignificant moments are precisely what define our collective sense of community.

If everyone is bothered by the ways of someone else, why does nothing change?

A Glimmer of Hope: The Growing Interest in Etiquette

Despite the challenges, there is reason for optimism. Coppens notes a growing interest in etiquette, with many seeking practical tips for navigating everyday social situations. This suggests a desire to restore a sense of civility and connection in our increasingly fragmented world.

The Path forward: Leading by Example

Ultimately,the duty for fostering a more courteous society lies with each of us. As Emily Post wrote in her seminal 1922 book, Etiquette in Society, in business, in Politics, and at Home: The best society is not an association of rich … but a community of well -mannered people, of which correct language, charm in behavior and an instinctive attention for the feelings of others are the tickets.

By consciously choosing to be more mindful, respectful, and considerate in our interactions, we can create a ripple effect, inspiring others to do the same. Perhaps, by responding to rudeness with excessive politeness, we can initiate a counter-movement that restores common courtesy to its rightful place in our society. the journey towards a more gracious world begins with each of us.