Ghosts on the Internet
Table of Contents
The last voice message is archived on WhatsApp, an old vacation photo suddenly appears in the timeline, Facebook automatically reminds people of their birthday: When a person dies, they simply continue to exist on the Internet.
Because when we leave, our digital footprint remains behind. Not only email accounts and cloud storage, but also profiles on Facebook, Tiktok and Instagram will remain intact for the time being. The platforms are transforming into digital cemeteries – and the development is only just beginning.
According to an estimate by the software service “ExpressVPN“In the year 2100, there will be more social media profiles of deceased people in Germany than living people.
Mourning culture is changing in the digital age
In photos, videos and private messages, the deceased appear as close as if they were still there. This means that our culture of mourning is also changing: what used to be the condolence book is now the comment column under posted articles. Mourning no longer only takes place at the grave, but also in the news feed.
A heart emoji is not a replacement for a hug, but mourners often find more sympathy on social media platforms than those around them.
picture-alliance / Reportdienste
PhotoAlto | Laurence Mouton
Survivors share old photos on Instagram and write farewell lines. Friends, acquaintances and strangers express their condolences in the form of emojis or virtual candles. In digital spaces, mourners can now connect with one another, even across continents.
“Many people experience this as comforting,” says Christine Kempkes from the Federal Association for Grief Support. Grieving people are keen to talk about their feelings and their loved one. In everyday life in the analog world there is often too little understanding of this.
“On social media, mourners can show what moves them without fear of becoming a burden to others,” explains the grief counselor. “Sometimes they even get encouragement from people they don’t even know. That can be very healing.”
After Liam Payne’s death, his partner mourns on Instagram
Banalization through emojis?
But social media are also spaces for self-expression. Public sympathy on Instagram or Facebook quickly seems fake to outsiders. A “Rest in Peace” comment and a heart emoji are also quickly typed – don’t they trivialize the sincerely intended condolence?
Hearts and likes are posted quickly. Are social media trivializing our culture of mourning?
picture-alliance / Reportdienste
A man | Meton Aves acts
No, says Kempkes. There is always impersonal condolences. “Even offline, many people just buy an impersonal condolence card and sign it. That’s just as uncompassionate or appreciative.”
Digital inheritance protects against misuse
The grief counselor sees a completely different problem in digital memorial culture: namely when private photos and videos are shared that the deceased person would never have published.
“Even if it is well-intentioned: for reasons of personal rights, it is not okay to simply post pictures of deceased people.” The deceased person must have consented to this. “Ideally, you should clarify while you’re still alive: Is it okay with you if I talk about my grief on social media? And is that possible with photos or without?”
So far, hardly anyone has given enough thought to what should happen to the digital footprints after death. “In order to avoid subsequent misuse of my profile, my pictures and my data, I have to regulate my digital estate during my lifetime,” warns Kempkes.
Anyone who shares images of deceased people on social media must have obtained permission to do so while they were still alive.
IMAGO
Zoonar
Digital chaos after death
The reality is different. After a death, most relatives are faced with digital chaos. Especially when no one knows what to do with the profiles of deceased people.
“Relatives have no access to data and profiles because the passwords are not stored. At the same time, subscriptions continue and costs or legal problems arise. Dealing with all of this in addition to the pain of grief is an enormous burden.”
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A lot of things can be arranged in advance
Digital legacy – what to do if a relative dies
Digital legacy – what to do if a relative dies
When a loved one dies, there are many things to take care of. The digital legacy of the deceased is becoming increasingly important. We give tips on what you can do in the event of a death.
Managing the digital legacy is not just an organizational task for the surviving relatives. It is also about preserving the dignity of the deceased. Who should have access to digital memory, messages, photos and videos? What is allowed to be published and what is not?
Appoint your estate executor on Facebook
Platforms such as Facebook or Instagram now offer methods for profile management: You can decide during your lifetime whether your profile should be deleted or converted into a memorial page. On Facebook you can even designate a person as a legacy contact who will take care of the profile after death.
But very few take advantage of these opportunities. “The digital estate must be included in the will,” says Christine Kempkes. Because whoever communicates about it ensures that digital memories remain respectful.
