Young people are always online, physically precocious and recently politically active? We ask what it means for young people to seek a place in the world today, and focus on what is probably the most emotional time of life: puberty. Here is the mother of a 15-year-old. She writes under a pseudonym to protect her daughters whose names we have changed.
When Lynn shaved her hair, I was not there. Your
Little sister sent me a photo, and at first I thought it
Show a singer or a model, some unknown woman with many followers.
Lynn wore tinted glasses and long earrings. Nice, but also foreign looked
you. I was not prepared for this transformation. It's just a whim,
I consoled myself. Days later I stroked the three millimeter stubble
and said, "Hair grows again – as if my child came back with it, which I lost
would have. She wore black long coats now. Jackets with shoulder pads.
Heavy shoes. Her expression changed, she looked seriously into the world. Some
Passersby crossed the street, Lynn proudly told me she was 15.
A year later, Lynn is still shaving her hair. you
is distancing. Teenagers want that, abnabeln, that is in every parent's guide.
But my daughter does not have to, I think, I'm neither strict nor
authoritarian. Sometimes I give her a time on the way, on other days persist
I'm on a meal together, that's all. Lynn can feel free, claim
Me, because she grows up in a freedom-loving environment. Our friends
live in the most diverse family forms. They work a lot and rarely
regularly. Regularly is instead celebrated, wild and hilarious, though
someone's birthday, a movie is over or the summer has started. Then
Seating furniture is pushed to the wall, it is smoked and danced and both
Lynn and her two years younger sister Marie celebrate with. they look
us adults in our fortune-seeking, are not excluded, but
not spared. And yet Lynn has decided to rebel.
Only – against what?
It questions my self-image
No fun party will stop my daughters
to be different from myself, to be a different woman than I am. This is
right, and yet I understand it as a rejection. Her otherness forces me
to tolerance, an uncomfortable challenge. Uncomfortable, because they are mine
Self-questioning: am I really that open-minded? Twelve
Months after Lynn's transformation, I realize I'm making demands and
less casual than I would like to be. Silently, my child keeps me rebellious
the mirror in front. I liked it better.
After a long period of falling in love, my child is arguing
and me about what the right life is. puberty means so much
I already realized that I can not play anymore, at least not
more like before. Once I return from shopping. Lynn is sitting in the
Kitchen with three guys. Sleepy faces, they are just childhood
escaped. You have breakfast. Boys, I call cockily because I'm glad
that guys are visiting, hey boys! They look embarrassed. I'm pulling a few
Slice ham from my bag, say, here, for breakfast. Silence. Mummy,
answers Lynn stretched, these are vegetarians.
Sometimes I feel embarrassed, sometimes they are proud, the girls. To the
Strife rarely occurs, never with the younger. Nor does she worship me, is
Accomplice, I am grateful for that. Like me, she strives for harmony, wants
Smooth and please moods. She is a girl, as I was one. One,
doing homework without asking, cleaning up her room and sleeping
puts when it is tired. That says, does not matter if I'm not on a Sunday
I have time because I have to write, and I do not feel good about it
To be a mother. Lynn, on the other hand, challenges me by living differently,
loves and thinks as me and that is disappointing and impressive at the same time.
Three millimeters, they do not miss their effect. Lynn knows
that I did not dare to shave my hair. That I have before
to shy away from any form of radicalism. She left after a short time
separated from her first boyfriend because he could not tell her what she loved him
mean. I admire her for her consistency, which she takes for granted
seems. I admire her for her independence. While I'm sailing shoes,
Jeans and shirt wore, so as not to attract attention, she leaves the house
Confirmation jacket of her grandfather, around the head a hijab. She has just
Aprons discovered for herself, she wears them over her clothes. I go next
As she walks down the street, she catches all eyes, so unusual is her
Appearance. Lynn rehearses, she probes stubbornness and identity and reminds
me, that I am her mother, an adult woman.