FAIRWAY, KS (KCTV) – From small towns to large cities, Gina Bullard of KCTV5 has lived all over the country. But within a few months after moving to Kansas City, she was in a bar when she received a proposal she had never received before.
It was from a couple who were looking for more than a friendly conversation. Then it happened again somewhere else. She was on a date when they were both approached. Then she knew that people we deal with daily and people we trust will remain a mystery.
So she started asking questions.
Enter the secret world of swingers
"I am absolutely looking forward to seeing my husband and doing something with someone else," said a female swinger.
Swingers are people in dedicated relationships who are looking for contacts with other people.
"It's just about sex," she said. "It went from bizarre until I'm really turned on by this."
KCTV5 has hidden local swinger identities and has given them false names because they have families, children, friends and everyone who does not know their lives unrestrictedly.
Scarlet started swinging a year and a half ago. She has been married for four years. After a dry period in the bedroom she and her husband were invited to a private party for swingers. Initially they just looked, but at the next party they added someone else to the mix, making it a trio.
Scarlet told KCTV5: "I was just absolutely surprised, it was the most fantastic feeling. & # 39;
"Was it another woman or man," KCTV5 asked.
"It was a man, believe it or not," replied Scarlet.
KCTV5 asked, "how often do you wave?" Blaze, who is a male swinger, replied: "it depends".
For Blaze, the beginning of the lifestyle began as a typical male fantasy, with a threesome with his wife and another woman. They flirted with the idea and explored swinger clubs in the city.
Swinger clubs are clubs for adults, where everything goes, you bring your own alcohol and everyone can watch. In Missouri and Kansas, clubs like this can operate because they do not need liquor licenses. They are private parties in private buildings.
"We have seen everyone dancing there with pleasure," Blaze said.
In the beginning, Blaze and his wife just leaned back and observed, after which it escalated to touch.
The third time was charming because they had sex with another couple.
"Are you jealous by seeing your wife with someone else", KCTV5 asked.
Blaze replied: "No, no, I admit it's strange the first time."
The couple is married for 22 years and swinging for 21 of them. Now they go to private lifestyle parties in homes, hotels and even Airbnb.
All swingers with whom KCTV5 has spoken, on and off the camera, say that it is a huge underground social scene.
According to social psychologist Dr Edward Fernandes, the average age of the swingers is between 36 and 55. They are usually university educated and have a household income between $ 40,000 and $ 200,000.
Fernandes says 8 million people are swinging in the United States – about 2.5 percent of the population. That number goes up to 12 million in North America.
Yet their choices are still seen as taboo. That is why the people who have talked to KCTV5 say that your neighbors, politicians, police, teachers and religious leaders all hide their steamy encounters.
KCTV5 asked: "Are there a lot of swingers in KC?"
Timmy Gibson, who is a relationship coach and Christian Pastor, responded with "oh yeah!"
Gibson works with several pairs of couples and says that it is a serious decision that requires communication and trust.
"I think it's the excitement that people are looking for, something different, something new," Gibson said.
If you are looking for signs of swinging, let's straighten the record. The white rock for someone's house means nothing. The same applies to crystal balls or garden gnomes. Keys on the bar or table in a restaurant? No sign.
You may have heard that a certain neighborhood in Overland Park is full of swingers, no more. Swingers now say that they are everywhere and that there are some recognizable signals.
Show pineapple that you are welcome. If you see a woman who plays something with a unicorn, they can have fun. Swingers mention single women who want to accompany a unicorn, because they are so rare.
Another hint, black rings worn on the right hand of people.
KCTV5 asked if he would recommend this for couples.
Gibson answered "no".
Gibson says that the majority of couples he worked with say that men are open to multiple partners and that women want monogamy. That is why when the woman admits, and they come into the grip of things, instead of a happy ending, they end up in his office.
"She did it because he wanted it, they did it and it just caused havoc.In a relationship you should never do anything outside of that which is beneficial to both and pleasant to both and pleasurable to both," Gibson said.
"Is it swaying a sin?" Early KCTV5.
"As a sin, I think people would regard it as disloyalty as false," Gibson replied.
But he says it is not so clear. When you refer to the Bible, King David and his son Solomon had hundreds of women and concubines.
Swingers say that the secret of staying together has no secrets.
"In their minds, it's the most honest, I'm open about my attraction to other people, I'm going to do it openly with your permission," Gibson explains.
"Do you want your partner to go outside and do things behind your back, or would you rather know that they are doing it and that they are doing it safely?" Added Blaze.
A secret network of people around us who share their deepest, darkest desires.
"It's a hobby, some people have book clubs, some people go bowling, we sleep with our friends," Scarlet said.
Of course, the internet makes swinging easier than ever. There are numerous online groups, meetups and events. They are even organized around specific activities and interests.
Whether it is game night or coffee, there is something and someone for everyone.