In 20 years, I wrote 200,000 words of growth logs and 168 letters for my children. This mother’s parenting experience contains the way of getting along with parents-Hangzhou News Center-Hangzhou Net

Write a 200,000-word growth log and 168 letters for children in 20 years. This mother’s parenting experience contains the way of getting along with parents and children

It is often said that parents are the lifelong mentors of their children, and teaching by example is the best family education. But how do parents “teach by precept and example”? This is a big subject.

In the circle of friends, Han Haiying is recognized as “other people’s mother”: one of the reasons is that she raised a “other people’s child” – holding a high scholarship, studying at a well-known liberal arts college in the United States, tall and handsome, able to play Piano, love sports. What’s the secret? Perhaps we can get a glimpse of it from the 200,000-word growth diary and 168 letters she wrote to her son Fan Sizuo.

20 years, 200,000 words, 168 letters. Since Fan Sizuo was not born, he has persisted until now. On November 13 this year, in a recent letter, Han Haiying wrote: “100 points is not important, what is important is that you really like it and put in all your efforts!” My mother said that I got 100 points in economics again.

Is there really a relationship between raising children and writing letters? The reporter interviewed Han Haiying.

In the form of a diary, record the rational thinking in the process of parenting

Recalling the earliest record, Han Haiying said it was written in a diary when she was pregnant. At that time, she was a Chinese teacher at school, and she was also a young woman in literature and art. Basically, she would definitely be able to write something in two or three days.

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For her at that time, the parenting diary was an expression, a confession, or a dialogue with herself. “At that time, I really wanted to record my fleeting feelings. Unexpectedly, this writing has been persisting until now, for a full 20 years.”

Once, she took her son to the store to buy things, the child was very happy, and then pretended to be mysterious and said: “Mom, come here, I have a word with you.” When she bent down, the child whispered in her ear. Said: “Mom, I love you so much!” She was instantly moved.

When returning home from get off work, Han Haiying, who lived in an old-fashioned apartment building at the time, always had to ring the doorbell at the entrance of the corridor. When her son heard it, he would open the door and run down to pick her up. Then they would meet on the third or second floor. Very happy.

My child learned piano when he was a child. At that time, there was no piano at home, and he had to practice outside. Practicing piano was very boring. Sometimes he would resist practicing piano, and he reluctantly learned it for a long time, but he only knew that part of the melody. Han Haiying and her husband took pictures and videos of their children and shared them with everyone. At the kindergarten graduation gala, the teacher invited his son to show his talent in playing the piano in front of other children. After receiving applause and praise, the child became more and more motivated to practice the piano. Sometimes a child’s vanity is actually his driving force, using it to get twice the result with half the effort.

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Han Haiying recorded these small details and stories in life in her diary, which echoed in her mind from time to time, which gave her a lot of warmth. But when I think of a little child who relies on you and trusts you wholeheartedly, you may decide what he will look like in the future. Han Haiying, who is a mother for the first time, feels very terrified in her heart. At that time, when she was around 30 years old, she made a comprehensive consideration of society, family, herself and her children. Han Haiying realized that as a mother, only emotional experience is definitely not enough, and one must think rationally about how to raise this child. Gradually, her parenting diary became a child’s growth diary for a long time.

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