LUCY Kelsall, 35, is an army leader in salvation and lives in Newport, Gwent.
Here, he reveals how her husband David, who died of throat cancer, wrote to her from beyond the grave.
"Sitting down for a proper breakfast for the first time since my husband David, 45, died of throat cancer, I tried to ignore the feeling of nausea in my stomach.It was only a month and I still found it impossible to function normally.
"Pouring my cereal without enthusiasm, a piece of paper fell into my bowl." A shiver ran down my back as I saw the familiar calligraphy, a note from David, saying he would love me forever.
"We met for the first time in a local rehabilitation center in South Wales," he told me in 2005 after fighting a drug problem and later became the director of the center. "Six years later, David entered an alcoholic.We both felt an instantaneous spark, but there were strict rules about staff and patient relationships, so it was not until David completed his recovery in November that we could finally be together.
"We became inseparable and in two years we moved together, we got married and started trying for a baby, but one day at the start of 2014, David, who worked as a support worker at the rehabilitation center, he began to complain of a sore throat.
"After visiting the GP, David was initially diagnosed with silent acid reflux and prescribed drugs, but in July he was admitted to the hospital for testing after finding a neck lump Two weeks later, he was diagnosed with cancer throat.
"I was paralyzed by fear at the thought of losing my husband and I could say that David was scared too … I recently discovered that I was expecting a baby, so we tried to focus on those amazing news, but only two weeks after David's diagnosis I aborted, it seemed like everything was falling apart at the joints.
"Despite undergoing an exhausting chemo regime, numerous cycles of radiation therapy and a dissection of the throat to remove his lymph nodes, every time the doctors fought a part of David's cancer, another lump would appear somewhere else. , he developed five tumors in his throat in four years.
"In a desperate attempt to defeat cancer forever, David removed his voice box and larynx in February 2016. He had always illuminated the room with his positive attitude and talkative nature, so losing the ability to speak was a blow devastating.
"Without a voice, he began to write notes of love to express how he felt.They would hide in unexpected places: in the car, scattered around the living room or under the pillow if he knew he had had an overnight stay in the hospital. Once I found one, my heart skipped a beat.
"For a few months we were almost able to forget about David's cancer, but he came back aggressively in September 2017. The tumor was wrapped around an artery so the surgeons could not remove it, and on December 10th , David was hospitalized after the blood began to leak out of his mouth Tragically, the doctors told us that the cancer had spread to his lungs and there was nothing more to do. strong.
"We were given a room in the Marie Curie hospice, where we were able to live together the last precious days of David, for six days we watched movies and cuddled in silence." He no longer had the strength to write more, but The last thing he consciously did was play Elvis Presley's Can not Help Falling In Love from his phone.
"On December 22, 2017, David died peacefully, broke my heart and spent weeks at home sobbing, friends and family were incredible help, but I was devastated, I managed to drag myself out of bed early the morning, I found David's note in my bowl of Rice Krispies.
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"Reading his words of love, I felt like he was still close to me, I had avoided tracing his things, but desperate to find if he had left behind other notes, I rushed to the desk drawer.
"Opening it, my eyes filled with tears at the sight of the cards addressed to me for Valentine's Day, our anniversary and my birthday.In the following weeks, I came across notes of love and poetry of David in the books, hidden in my wardrobe and in various bags.
"Even now, every time I read one of David's notes, it occurs to me that he will always be with me somehow.We have frozen his sperm before his treatment, so I am undergoing IVF to try to have his Since then I've moved home and I do not know if I'll ever find another message from him – but who knows, I'll never stop hoping. "
- The Marie Curie nurses provide 1.2 million hours of nursing care each year.
- In the novel by Cecelia Ahern Post scriptum I love you the main character Holly receives letters from her late husband in the post.