A few times recently I went to bed without taking a shower. This never, never, happens.
I'm not a clean maniac or anything, but at least I usually make sure my feet are clean before I get into my sheets, but lately it's not like that.
This is worrying. I managed to get through the holidays without any seasonal depression, which is rare, but now I wonder what's going on. Part of the problem is that I skipped the gym in more of an opportunity that's where I take a shower. So, if I do not go to the gym, I do not take a shower because I do not really need it, but I've always gone to bed clean and fresh.
Why am I jumping in the gym?
Sometimes we need a break from training. It can become tiring and annoying to always feel the need to stay in shape, so I have no problem taking a break for a few days. Of course, this means that I do not take a shower and, consequently, I should make a point to take a shower at home. But not me.
Another problem: I find myself watching TV in bed more often than in my living room. People say you should not watch tv in bed like you do not have to eat in bed, so I understand. But there was a change in which I prefer to lie comfortably in bed against sitting on a chair in my living space when I watch my shows. It's not good. These are minimal signs of depression, and for someone who is hyper-vigilant to make sure that everything fits into the moody world, I have to step back and examine myself.
I was so proud to wean myself off my antidepressant, and it was almost arrogant inside, and it only needed my mood stabilizer. Now I'm not so sure about the whole thing. I've been to Wellbutrin for a few years, and happy to be finally released. But I go to bed without wiping my feet? The simple fact that I can sleep without realizing I did not take a shower is extremely odd.
Sometimes there are subtle signs that depression is at the horizon. If you pay attention you can take yourself into depressive habits and do what you need to do to make sure you do not fall into deep, deep depression.
Will I come back to Wellbutrin? No, but it is something that I will have to discuss at my next appointment with the psychiatrist. Oh, this is another thing. I rescheduled my last psychic visit because I did not think I needed it because it did not change much in my state of mind and honestly, I did not want to lose $ 200 in a session. So there's another red flag.
Maybe I needed the session despite the fact that I did not want to change my medication. I'm going in a couple of weeks, and I always say if I want to go earlier, I'll make an appointment.
I'm not going to change the appointment, but I'll certainly keep the TV from my bedroom. I will force myself to take a bath before going to bed and I will return to the gym. It seems simple but, for whatever reason, it has not been recently.