Control mania: we learn not to fall for it

A FACT DATE – The control freak is usually a hyper perfectionist trying to supervise and program everything, including the behaviors of others. Everything stems from the awareness that a large number of events and events in our life do not depend on us: from here a state of anxiety, even very profound, which generates the need for foresee all possible situations and always have a plan of action to put in place, whatever happens. This craving for prevent what is unpredictable contains a intrinsic contradiction and not solvable, from which new anxiety arises. When the stress becomes excessive it can develop a real one obsession pathological: fortunately, in most cases, it is a vision of reality and behaviors that can be changed, to live in a more peaceful way.

THE QUALITY OF LIFE – Changing hypercontrol attitudes is important for the quality of life, ours and those around us. In fact, those who are victims of this craving tend to want to direct not only the course of their own existence, but also that of others: nagging behaviors, continuous intrusions, attempts to direct the choices of loved ones. All this can put a strain on social and emotional relationships, generating further stress.

I “SINTOMI” – To understand if we are at risk of “control mania” we observe our daily life and our behaviors: hypercontrol usually has its roots in the anxiety we feel in front of new situations, in the fear of making mistakes, in the fear of taking responsibility, in the low self-esteem we have towards ourselves and in the lack of trust towards others. Often these elements are associated with the fear of being vulnerable, of being betrayed by our peers or, on the contrary, the feeling of being affected by the trust that others have placed in us.

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HOW TO RUN TO THE SHELTERS – Given that the deep root of the craving for control derives from the fear of not knowing how to manage the unexpected and the emotions that derive from them, the starting point on which to focus attention is in the depth of ourselves.
– Let’s start with us: let’s make a list of all the situations that we have successfully faced and solved: if we made it that time it is likely that we will make it again under similar conditions.
– We work on our vision of life: let’s learn to see the glass as half full, let’s try not to think only about what can go wrong, but let’s focus on the positive aspects of life and situations.
– We learn to manage and control our emotions: techniques that allow you to manage anxiety and promote relaxation are a useful tool in many situations.
– We live in the present: fear of the future often prevents us from enjoying the beautiful things of the present. Let us strive to live day by day, especially if the vision of the whole and of the future worries us.
– We fail without fear: mistakes are part of human nature, however much one tries to avoid them. Let’s devote ourselves to our activities with concentration and to the best of our ability and, if we happen to make mistakes, we admit the mistake without too much fear and treasure it to do better next time.
– Let’s trust others: even if their behavior is unpredictable and sometimes does not correspond to what we would like, we must learn to trust the judgment and skills of others.
– Let’s break the mold: let’s try to get out of the codified routine of our days, let’s dedicate ourselves to something new and different: in this way we will discover that the news are not threatening but can lead to new discoveries and new stimuli.

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